August 1, 2005

Still Pulling Hair

I've been gone for a while. I think I've been trying to pretend that I'm not pulling. HA! The pulling hasn't gotten any worse, but it's not getting any better either. The areas that I've pulled are not growing in because I'm yanking them out! I feel really anxious these days....due to a lot of reasons. And anxiety always makes the pulling worse. It's the high and the escape that I get from pulling that keeps me pulling. I need to realize that my anxiety over things will not get better or worse because I pull. The feelings won't go away because I pulled.

The good news is that I stopped pulling my eyelashes. They were really very bad for a while. I had to go to bed with vaseline on my eyelids every night for a week because the new eyelashes growing in hurt so bad. It was like have cactus eyelids. Yuck! Luckily, the eyelashes have grown in really fast. Whew. I also switched mascaras which helped a LOT. I was using the waterproof which made my eyelashes brittle and easy to pull. Not good! I switched back to regular and it's much better. Course I end up with raccoon eyes a lot but HEY...at least I have eyelashes to go with those.

My weight is causing a lot of anxiety right now. I finally heard some kind of "click" in my brain and I've gotten on track. My highest weight was 248 and I'm now down to about 235 or so. But it's like my eyes are finally opened to all the weight that is on my body...and it's very hard. I do want to give up quite often. But I'm so unhealthy right now that giving up is not an option. I really want to be healthy! I have 27 pounds to get to my "pre-pregnancy with Sammie" weight. I would be happy if I could reach that goal before Christmas or so. I'm really working hard and sticking to my Weight Watchers plan and FIRM-ing every other night. I just wish I would have started this 20 pounds ago. :-( On the other hand, it could have gotten much farther.

So what to do about the pulling? I guess I'll just take it day by day. I try not to think about how good things were before when I wasn't pulling. I feel like I was a different person then. I just try to think now that I'm still pretty...even though I pull. I try to stay very positive about it. The more negative I am, the more I want to pull.

until next time.

Posted by Cody on August 1, 2005 9:06 PM


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I am 21 years old. I also pull my hair out and I have since I was twelve. I have a big bald spot in the top of my head right now. I think if I would relize when im pulling it out I might be able to stop. but anyway I hope your weight loss goes ok KIM

I have been pulling on my hair since I was about 12. I still remember when 2 realatives andI were playing chess and one says, "Your bald on top of your head"! We all went to a mirror and the other cousin had a hand mirror behind my head holding it at an angle so I could see it. In my twenties I'd quit, however for about the past 15 years I haven't been able to stop. Although I did go see a doctor and got prescription drugs. I have to laugh when I hear others describe 'looking for that right strand to pull'. I don't hate myself, but, I don't like myself either. I keep saying everyday, I am going to stop...I still haven't.

I have been pulling on my hair since I was about 12. I still remember when 2 realatives andI were playing chess and one says, "Your bald on top of your head"! We all went to a mirror and the other cousin had a hand mirror behind my head holding it at an angle so I could see it. In my twenties I'd quit, however for about the past 15 years I haven't been able to stop. Although I did go see a doctor and got prescription drugs. I have to laugh when I hear others describe 'looking for that right strand to pull'. I don't hate myself, but, I don't like myself either. I keep saying everyday, I am going to stop...I still haven't.

I AM 24 YEARS OLD AND HAVE BEEN PULLING MY EYEBROWS AND LASHES SINCE I WAS 7 OR 8. I JUST FOUND THIS WEBSITE TONIGHT AND CAN'T GET OVER HOW MUCH I HAVE IN COMMON WITH SOME OF YOU, AND THAT FEELS GOOD...I DONT FEEL SO ALONE WITH MY "PROBLEM". I ALSO HAVE ISSUES WITH MY WEIGHT AND SUFFER FROM SOME DEPRESSION NOW AND THEN - THAT I KNOW IS CAUSED FROM THE PULLING AND MY WEIGHT. I AM ENGAGED TO GET MARRIED NEXT YEAR AND I DREAM OF WALKING DOWN THE ISLE THINNER, WITH THICK EYEBROWS AND LASHES! I AM JUST LOOKING FOR SOME SUPPORT AND ADVICE... IM GLAD I DISCOVERED THIS WEBSITE.

Thanks for posting everyone. It does help to know that we're not alone in this. There are so many others who suffer secretly because they really believe they're the only ones in the world who do this! I thought that for a long time...until I started going on the Internet and finding other people.

Just remember that you're not alone. Don't put too much pressure on yourselves to stop...I'm still pulling too, I just take it day by day and try to pull a little bit less everyday.

Thanks again for reading and for posting.

I have been pulling since about age 15. I have always felt so alone and isolated with this. This has affected my life in profound ways and I often feel trapped. I have recently gained lots of weight and combined with the pulling (lashes and brows) my self-esteem is nonexistant. Thanks for sharing this blog...I have bookmarked it.

WOW! I can't believe what I'm reading. I honestly thought I was the only person on the planet with this problem (although I know I'm not).

I've been pulling since I was about 12. I'm 34 years old now. It makes me sick to think about. I want to quit SOOO bad, but don't know how. It's getting difficult to hide my bald spots. I've never even told a doctor. I've heard drugs don't help anyway.

I also struggle with wieght and anxiety. It all seems to be related.

Hi, I am 31 years old. i started pulling my eyelashes at a young age to fall asleep. My mother noticed and said do not pull your eyelashes so i pulled my eyebrows.Then she said dont pull your eyebrows . So i started pulling my hair, i to notice i look for a hair with a folicule at the end of it. It is like i accomplished something. S ounds silly huh?Well recently i have stopped pulling my hair it is growing in , i started by shaving it completly so i couldnt pull it. i still have tric, i pull other places that dont show. I too am struggling with weight, and have a hard life. eventually i feel i can overcome this, not by a book or medication. Ii isn't easy but i feel i am on the mend. Don't you think if you could get your hair back overnight you would not pull it. We can beet this thing guys:)

DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO STOP THIS OR HAVE ANY ADVISE???

My name is Melissa and I am 23 and I have been pulling since I was 19 and I can't stop. I just found this webpage and I just don't understand that so many people in this world have Trich and we can't seem to stop it or others think we are crazy! I would do anything to stop my pulling... I try to stay positive!!!

My name is amber i am 24 i started pulling my hair when i had my second child who was very colicky, had jaundice very bad, he kept me up all night then i started to experience what anxiety was. I never knew about it until i thought one night that i was having a heart attack. I used to have beautiful, thick hair and not it is bald in spots and thin in others and the sides are really thin. I hate my hair and i have been recently been looking into hair extensions but i hear that it can actually make your hair worse. When my son who is now 2 was a baby i was compltely bald on the sides and then i was told about this shampoo and conditoner called nioxin. YOu can get it at a salon. It is cleanser and scalp therapy. It is for thinning hair and it stimulates the hair follicles to make your hair grow in faster. It is kinda pricy but it is good stuff. I got my hair back and stopped pulling then recently started back and now i am kinda back in the same situation. It seems like the more stressed i get the more i pull. I read where someone mentioned that when they pull a piece that has a follicle on it they feel that they accomplished something well i feel that way when i pull a split end. I think that is another reason why i started pulling i used a hot iron on my hair all the time then i got a lot of split ends and i thought that i was taking care of them by pulling that hair out. lol. i know it is sad. I dont know why it is so hard for us all to stop pulling but i know what you all mean. I have been pulling for about 2 or more years. Its embarassing and it does get hard to cover up your pulling spots.

my name is lindsay and im 15 and ive been pulling my hair since i was 6.i used to knot it then rip it out.then i stopped for about 4 or 5 months.And quite recently ive been pulling the split ends so that my hair has many fly aways and is very embarassing.My hair has been shoulder length since i was 7.ive never pulled a bald spot but i did make one side longer than the other so i had to cut it even shorter.While im in class all i do is sit there and pull my split ends.ive never pulled my eyelashes or eyebrows or any other area.my parents wont let me take any kind of pill and we dont know how to stop this.does anyone have any ideas?

Hey Im 12 Years old and i too pull my hair out. Ive only been pulling for a year and i have a few bald spots . But their huge. I try to hide it with a pony tail but it never works. Im tired of people thinking i have cancer because of the habbit or whatever you call it. Please Somebody Help!!!!!! IM in the 6th grade and im boy crazy and a pefectionist. So this is reall really hard for me. Im so sad. Im the least popular girl in school because of this. I want it to stop. NOW!! HElp me.

Umm.. well im 14. And my hair has been damaged for a while due to all the straigthening i used to do.. And at the moment its shoulder lenght ish.. or shorter. An its all dry and thick, and it all seems to be split ends. My split ends dont just start fromt he end, it starts around the middle or sometime right at the top. I dont want to go to the hair dressers because i dont want my hair to go any shorter, i want to grow it then cut it tot he sytle i want. So ic ut the spluit ends myself, but like is aid some starts at the middle and top, and its really annoys me, so i just pull them out. For some reason i cant get my hands off my ahir, i pull them in lessons and im scared of anyone finding out. I now have some bald patches and my hair has all different kinds of lengths because i cut some part of my hair really short, because i cant be bothered pulling them all out. Now its all messed up, how can i go to the ahirdressers? And how can i grow it when i cant stop pulling it. My hair looks so trampy now! And the bald patches, im scared because its at the front of my head..

Ok, to make a long story short, I've been pulling my hair out for about 2 years. I'm almost 16, and I start school again in a month, and before school let out, my hair pulling suddenly got worse. I have a handfull of disorders: OCD, Major Depressive Disorder, ADD, Trichotillomania, Social Anxiety Disorder, low self-esteem, and Post-Traumatic stress from childhood experiences. I've taken SO MANY different medications that now, my brain feels like a bowl of jello. I used to pluck my eyebrow hairs obsessively, but that never extremely became a problem. I used to pull my eyelashes out, but they looked the same as they always have (very long and thick). Now, I don't really pull at my eyebrows or eyelashes, but I pull the hairs on my head out. I used to have thick, long, beautiful, brown hair, but now, it's so thin, and I'm balding on both sides of my head and my front hair line is also balding. My hair was the only thing I really liked about myself. I can't start the 11th grade like this. The one thing I hate receiving from other people is pity. My hair grows fast, and is, but I need it to grow faster. I'm only 5'1" and I weigh 50 pounds more than I'm supposed to. But, I'm rapidly losing weight day by day, which isn't a bad thing, but it's weird because I'm so upset about my hair, that I think it has something to do with me losing weight. My mom is going to buy me some kind of hair restoring shampoo called Nioxcin or Nioxin, however you spell it. I'm so excited about it, but I just wanted to know if anyone has used it and gotten good results from it. Thanks you guys, for posting your stories. They have helped me cope with my problem. =)

Ok, to make a long story short, I've been pulling my hair out for about 2 years. I'm almost 16, and I start school again in a month, and before school let out, my hair pulling suddenly got worse. I have a handfull of disorders: OCD, Major Depressive Disorder, ADD, Trichotillomania, Social Anxiety Disorder, low self-esteem, and Post-Traumatic stress from childhood experiences. I've taken SO MANY different medications that now, my brain feels like a bowl of jello. I used to pluck my eyebrow hairs obsessively, but that never extremely became a problem. I used to pull my eyelashes out, but they looked the same as they always have (very long and thick). Now, I don't really pull at my eyebrows or eyelashes, but I pull the hairs on my head out. I used to have thick, long, beautiful, brown hair, but now, it's so thin, and I'm balding on both sides of my head and my front hair line is also balding. My hair was the only thing I really liked about myself. I can't start the 11th grade like this. The one thing I hate receiving from other people is pity. My hair grows fast, and is, but I need it to grow faster. I'm only 5'1" and I weigh 50 pounds more than I'm supposed to. But, I'm rapidly losing weight day by day, which isn't a bad thing, but it's weird because I'm so upset about my hair, that I think it has something to do with me losing weight. My mom is going to buy me some kind of hair restoring shampoo called Nioxcin or Nioxin, however you spell it. I'm so excited about it, but I just wanted to know if anyone has used it and gotten good results from it. Thanks you guys, for posting your stories. They have helped me cope with my problem. =)

My 10 year old daughter has been obsessively pulling the hair from one eyebrow for a few months. It looks terrible, and we're trying to break the habit... Im fearful that she will end up plucking hair on her head and eyelashes soon. Really would love to hear from people who have 'kicked the habit', how they managed to do it etc.

Hi,

I am 23 now. When I was in grade 6 I randomly started pulling out my eyelashes and eyebrows. Or I guess I thought it was randomly. My parents just kept telling me to stop but I couldn't. I did that for about a year and then stopped. I was diagnosed 3 years ago with Panic Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, and I am clinically depressed with hints of OCD. I am on lots of meds. Within the past year I notice I wake up in the middle of the night and pull my hair out of my head... not enough to notice as I have very thick long hair..but when I wake up in the morning there is hair all around my bed. What do you guys think?

hi, im 27 and i have had no eyebrows and no eyebrows for 3 years now because i pullthem out. do you think they will ever grow back if i stop pulling them out?

Sunshine - they most likely will.

I am 24 years old and started pulling about a year and a half. I am so upset about it becasue i can't stop. I stop up to five days and then go back to what I was doing. people always ask oh why do you have bald spots or your hair so short. Sometimes I fall asleep crying.I am so embarase and upset for myself. i can't believe this is taking over my life. Please someone help!

I'm 13 and i have just started plucking my eyebrows..its not a habit just something I've started doing. I've started plucking a few lashes 2....but i have a problem. My eyebrows r now really small and my bottom eyelid looks weird cause well...i messed up bad! Do any of you ladies have any advice 2 give me cause I'm really freaking out!!

I'm 32 and have been pulling since I was about 9. it started off as just lashes but somewhere around HS I began pulling my eyebrows as well. I have Moderate to Severe Depression for which I am taking a SSRI but it doesn't seem to help the trich. not sure if it's just a habit or not at this point. I don't pull unless I'm infront of a mirror or a lash growing back in is pokey and itches. I'm over everything related to this. not swimming because it'll show that my brows are "drawn" on my face. I wear eyeliner actually on the lid where the lashes grew from to make it less obvious. I'm tired of wearing bangs for the last 20 or more years to make the brows less noticable, worrying that they'll smudge and someone else will notice before me.

how do you guys quit?? I have cut my nails short, put polish on them (plucking puts dents in the polish and causes it to look bad) and I've thrown away my tweezers. I guess my "drive" and "will" isn't strong enough.

was recently diagnosed as Soft Bipolar instead of depressed. They said a huge tip off was the hair pulling. Lovely that I have been misdiagnosed for 4 years. I am not sure how I quit..guess I got tired of everyone assuming I had cancer..

I didnt even know the obssession with pulling out hairs was a disorder, let alone a type of ocd. I just thought i had a habit. I've been constantly pulling out eyebrow and lash hairs for almost as long as i can remember. I like the satisfaction of pulling out a reallly hard one and I view it as almost a challenge. I have marks on my eyebrows from where i have dug into my skin. I've also gone as far as pulling puebic hairs. I know I have some anxiety, could that be related to the compulsivness of pulling out hairs?

HELP ME I PLUC MY EYEBROWS AND THIER SOOOOOOOO SHORT SO PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!! I LIKE THIS GUY AND HE'LL NOT WANT TO HANG OUT WITH A FREAK SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HELP ME I NEED IT!!!!!! =( =(

hi I'm 12 i really advice on how to quit pulling out hair. I now have 2 bald spots on the front 2 sides of my head, i also pluck me eyebrows. I don't do this with tweezers but with my fingers. I am soooooo embarrassed about putting my hair in a ponytail. i won't even let my mom touch my hair. i desperately need advice. HELP!!!

HELP ME I PLUCK MY EYEBROWS AND THEIR SOOOOOOOO SHORT SO PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!! I LIKE THIS GUY AND HE'LL NOT WANT TO HANG OUT WITH A FREAK SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HELP ME I NEED IT!!!!!! =( =(

You should first resist the urge. Also when you go to bed put petroleum jelly on your eyebrows. Once you take a shower in the morning it will wash out. And for now while you wait for your eyebrows, try filling them in with eyebrow pencil it will make them look fuller and it looks pretty real, i did that when i plucked my eyebrows. Hope your crush likes the new you!

hello ladies im 23yrs old and i started pulling my hair when i was 11... i still remember the first time i get an irresistable urge to pull a hair from my head and i do it, look at it, and put it in my mouth. i was like ok this is weird. after that i pulled at the top of my head and when an aunt came to cut my hair she noticed it and i just pretended that i didnt know what it was. From that day on i went to the doc. and they said that i had a pulling problem with my hair and send me to a psychiatrist. they are crazier than us so i stopped going. after so many years i thought i was never going to stop but just last year my best friend and i were shopping at the mall and she saw a wig shop. she made me go in and try one on. for the first time in 11yrs i saw myself with hair. she cried and i cried and she went out of her way to buy the perfect one for me. that changed my life forever. i gained tons of confidence and i feel so much better about myself and to top it off my pullin problem got a lil' better. when i have the wig on i dont get the urge to pull i cant anyways but if i do get an urge i pull the hair from the wig and it saves me from pulling my hair. so when i am at home i dont use the wig, so i put a bandana on and the same thing happens i dont get an urge so my hair is growing out and i am so happy. There are days when i have messed up but right away i put on the bandana or wig and i stop. so i am on my way to recovery and i thank God for such a great friend. So ladies go out buy urselves a wig , dont care what anyone else thinks cuz i know u will all look beautiful. in the long run it will help u not anyone else.

I am so upset about my hair situation and finally decided to see if there was anyone with my problem and anything that can be done to stop it. I found you guys. A friend showed me how to pull out my split ends in 7th grade and I am now 31 with two children and still can not stop. I literally yank the split ends out of my head. I do it so much and so often that my entire head is covered in flyaways or hair in varying lengths. It is totally humiliating. I felt so good about my hair a few months ago, it was growing in and really starting to look good....normal. Then for some reason I started the yanking again and now my hair looks awful. I am so embarressed. I am totally consumed by my hair and think about it 24-7....I have shied away from my friends and going out cause I am so humiliated by the way I look. I want to stop this. I need to stop this and I don't know how. I can't live like this...it is too restricting...worrying all the time about how I can "hide" how horrible my hair looks. What can I do???

I have spent the last 4 or 5 years trying to figure out why I pull my hair out in the middle of the night. My friends have caught me doing it while I was sleeping. I go through phases of stopping it and starting again. I wake myself up because I pull so hard. I'm fighting back tears right now because I don't understand. Last night, I was sleeping next to my boyfriend, and I woke up pulling my hair. I am so embarassed. I pray that he didn't notice, and if he did, that he doesn't get freaked out. I haven't done it too much in teh past year, but lately my hands migrate towards my head during the day-I'm finishing my Masters degree and have a lot of pressure on me right now. I am curious if all of you are doing your pulling while you are awake or asleep. I find that I run my fingers through my hair like a comb, but it still yanks out hair, so I guess that is my version of a "pull". Is there a solid diagnosis for this. I HATE doctors, but want some answers to why I have so many issues with anxiety, pulling, depression, and poor sleep patterns. Is this OCD related?? Do any of you have problems staying asleep at night? Sorry this was so long, someone please answer me though!

i pull my hair out when i get up set. i just grab a handful and yank, i dont have the intention of pulling it out per say, but then it it comes out, and im like what the heck.....i hate it because my hair ends up being really thin in some parts. its self abuse and it scares the crap out of me

I GET BAD A COUPLE MONTHS OUT OF THE YEAR. I COULDN'T SWIM WITH MY FRIENDS THIS SUMMER. IM 20 I HATE HAVING THIS PROBLEM. I JUST STARTED USING ROGAINE. ITS HELPS ME. I TRY JUST TO SCRATCH MY HEAD INSTEAD. WELL HOPEFULLY THE ROGAINE WORKS AND I DON'T LOSE THE HAIR WHEN I STOP. WISH ME LUCK

My name is kelsey and I am 14 years old. Ever since 6th grade when I discovered my split ends I have not been able to stop pulling them apart. It use to be just a bad habit, but it has become an obsession over the last 2 years. I have read other peoples stories about this and how they have gotten bald spots and I am so scared that it will happen to me soon. I only found out that this obsession of mine is an actual disorder a few days ago and i am going to take action immediatley. i wanted to know if therapy for this actally does work and if there is medication for it. im kind of scared to start seeing someone about this because i have never been confortable talking to someone that is not close to me about my problems so i am a little hisitant about doing this. does anyone have advice for me?



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