November 04, 2006
park
I took the girls to the park today and jill cleared a path through the leaves in the woods. It took forever for us to get to the end of the trail but she was happy. You could actually tell where the path was going after she moved alot of the leaves. It was no easy task either cause it was kind of a long trail.
We sat in one of the shelters for a while and watched the snow melt off of the building. It was soothing, almost made us want to take a nap.
on the way out we saw some deer, 2 of them. Jill tried to catch them but they ran away too fast.
Today went a little better than yesterday. I'm not sure I can say it was alot better. For the past several weeks weve just sorta been alive, not really here and not really gone. I just say i'm going into my own little world, but the truth is, half the time i dont really know where I am. I dont know who I am or what I'm supposed to say or feel or think. Everything gets so confusing. And then to try and explain anything that is going on when i dont get it myself is hard. I know my mommy worries alot and i just dont get it. I dont get why it would matter to anyone else if i cut or got hurt or what happens to me. I just dont understand it.
I've kinna been avoiding sleeping in my mom and dads room. I did it the other night but other than that i havent been. Its like i've been avoiding the whole world cause if i dont the whole world is going to fall apart. Its silly I know. I just think that if i'm not there or kinna just stay out of the way then everything will be ok.
Posted by Heavensdaughter on November 4, 2006 06:00 PM