July 09, 2005
Too Much Loss....
Yesterday, my sister in law's mother died. She just turned 52 years old 2 weeks ago. She fought cancer for many years but this last time that it came back, it was just too much. This loss comes only a week after a second grade student from my school was killed by a drunk driver. I also found out this week that a friend of mine's mother in law just found out she has very advantaged staged cancer that can't be treated. The doctors didn't give her much time. There seems to be an awful lot of loss present and it's sending me into a tailspin. I spent 3 hours with Donna today and I feel like I wasn't even there. I hate when that happens. All week long I had desperatley needed to see her. I needed something from her. What I exactly needed, I'm not sure. But I know it was something. I was so hoping to get what I needed when I was with her today but instead I find myself sitting here, not being able to stop crying, and just needing to be back in her office with her. I just don't know what to do with myself lately. All of this painful loss has triggered things I guess. Things that I maybe don't fully understand. I don't know. I just feel myself sinking deeper and deeper into a depression and not wanting to do this anymore.
Posted by Butterflyteam on July 9, 2005 07:36 PM
Awww sweetie I am so sorry. I am so sorry for all these losses. I know how hard it is. I wish I could come over there and give you a big hug, take you back over to Donnas and let you have lots and lots of time with her. ((((Butterflyteam)))
Posted by: Pilgrim at July 9, 2005 09:03 PM