August 31, 2004
a shift in the morning light....
The panic is less intense this morning. It usually is in the morning. I need to get a handle on things. I was going downhill for the past few days. I feel like I'm still on the down slope, however, I am sitting still on it for the moment. The past few days was a steady,continuous slide downhill with no break. I need to take advantage of this moment where I feel like I am steady. I need to work on getting connected again to some of the things and people I lost a connection to. I'm not sure how to go about this, but I will try to work on something today. I think I felt a little bit of a shift last night after Abby emailed Donna. I think I was feeling abandoned by everyone inside because I was feeling so horrible and no one was coming forward to give me information or help. After Abby showed up late last night, I think I felt a connection to her. I was relieved that she came around. I can't even believe I just said that. I didn't think I would ever see the day that I would be relieved that one of my alters would be around. I usually spend so much time wanting them to go away. It can be so draining and overwhelming at times when they are there. Hmmm.... this is a little scary. Could it be that I have come to really care about them and feel connected to them and actually want to have them around? But why? Whatever this turns out to mean, it's a little too much for me right now. I'll have to come back to this....
Posted by Butterflyteam on August 31, 2004 8:43 PM
Can your pesonalities communicate with each other? Do they tell each other things? When you go to the shop for instance as one personality do the others know? Or are they asleep and then maybe another takes over and goes to the shop again because she or he did not realise you have been? Do other people notice you are different re your personalities? Do you have to get one personality from a psych's point of view or can you keep all of them? Which one?
TITLE: a shift in the morning light....
DATE: 8/29/2004 11:29:18 AM
Posted by: Anonymous at August 31, 2004 7:20 AM
(((BFT)) I am really glad you're doing a diary. I think its good that people will be able to find out different perspectives on plurality by reading our different experiences (even though you and I are so much alike in some ways!) You're diary is going to offer hope and healing to a lot of people--- I just know it-- just as you have offered the same to me.Your friend,Pilgrim
Posted by: Pilgrim at August 31, 2004 6:09 PM
Thank you for replying to questions :-)
TITLE: feeling defeated.........
DATE: 8/30/2004 08:09:10 PM
Posted by: Anonymous at September 1, 2004 1:17 PM