hi i know exactly how you feel i'm scared of waking up going to bed aches and pains being sick not being able to breatheitchy skin i'm in tears constantly and always feel like its always gonna be like this if you want a friend who understands or fancy a chat to see if we could beat this then give mea shout

Reading your story hit very close to home for me. It's as though I had written it about myself. I've battled depression all my life, but the last five years have been especially difficult for me. Other than having to go to work, I do absolutely nothing else strictly out of fear of being hurt more. I try convincing myself that I need no one but deep inside I long to feel loved and cherished by someone else and I don't just mean romantic love. It could be a meaningful friendship where I truly felt like someone cared about me and had my best interest at heart. I long for that but am scared it's never going to happen for me and because of that I stay very secluded and locked up in my house when I can. I don't care for myself the way I use to because I figure what's the point and I hate that. I use to pride myself on my looks, but now I could almost care less. I use to be known as the workout queen but now I am the sofa queen. I avoid people, even friends-the ones I have left because most of them gave up on me years ago because I hide from them. I'm scared to open up and talk to anyone because I can't help but think that they really don't care and I'm afraid of what they will think of me and I don't want to be labeled or judged. I don't want a life like this but don't know what else to do.

To the original poster:
Reading your words was an eye-opening moment for me. I have never felt that someone so succinctly encapsulated all the feelings I'm having right now.
I am drowning in my own fear, and your words comforted me.
It's been over two years since your post. I don't know if you even read these anymore. If you do, could you tell me if you still feel this way or if you've found a way to free yourself from the stranglehold of fear?

All my best.

Wow....It's HAS been awhile since I have come back to reread those words. It's been so long since I've even posted an update on this site. It's been something I've been meaning to do. I'm in a better place...not exactly where I want to be...still working on my healing...I think I will always be working on my healing but it doesn't consume me like it used to. Same with the fear. Are there moments that I still feel like how I described here?....Yes. But back then....it it used to be ALL THE TIME. I kept committed to my healing and it did get better. You're welcome to email me if you'd like. I'd be happy to share more about my journey.

Wow....It's HAS been awhile since I have come back to reread those words. It's been so long since I've even posted an update on this site. It's been something I've been meaning to do. I'm in a better place...not exactly where I want to be...still working on my healing...I think I will always be working on my healing but it doesn't consume me like it used to. Same with the fear. Are there moments that I still feel like how I described here?....Yes. But back then....it it used to be ALL THE TIME. I kept committed to my healing and it did get better. You're welcome to email me if you'd like. I'd be happy to share more about my journey.

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