Health Diaries > Dissociative Identity Disorder > Butterfly Team

May 3, 2006

a bright distraction in the darkness of essay writing...

i've been sitting here at the computer for awhile trying to write my essay for my fordham application. i'm still having a hard time with it. today my friend jackie gave me the letter of recommendation she wrote for me and it had such nice things written in it but of course i had the hardest time taking it all in. whenever anyone says or writes anything nice about me, i can't help but think - they don't really know me - or, if they knew how really damanged or dirty i really was, they wouldn't say these things.

so, while i'm sitting here agonizing over this essay, my nephew called me. he's in third grade and goes to this gifted class once a week. he called me to tell me what they did in this class today. they made paper. but my nephew doesn't leave it at "we made paper". when you speak to my nephew, you get the DETAILED version. he's very particular and the details of everything are very important to him. i asked him about how they made paper and he asked me if i was sure i wanted to know because it takes awhile to explain it and his 6 year old sister told him the explanation was way too long when he tried to explain it to her! i told him i'd love to hear all about it no matter how long it took to tell me. so.......quite sometime later, i finally heard all the details of how you make paper!

i can't help but smile. i am so very blessed to have the relationship i do with my nephew and nieces. how grateful i am that i was here to answer the phone and talk with my nephew (who is also my godson, so we've always had a very special relationship). it puts things in perspective. do i really need to get all stressed out about this essay? no. but i still have to write it and i just don't know what to say!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Butterflyteam on May 3, 2006 5:03 PM