Health Diaries > Dissociative Identity Disorder > Butterfly Team

July 01, 2006

food issues....

i have lost absolute control this past week. i've been feeling a lot and i'm totally watching myself deal with it all by using food or rather lack of food. i can see myself trying to gain back control by not eating and even though i know it's not what i should be doing, i can't seem to stop. i've been taking the diet pills all week and they have really been working. i haven't eaten much all week. i ended up eating something today and couldn't deal with it so i purged. huge mistake. i think i popped a blood vessel in my eye. i can't see out of my left eye right now and there's this big red blob thing covering half of my eye. i'm such an idiot. i feel like a huge fat cow and i just want to cut all the fat off my body. i've had urges to cut all day and i'm trying not to. i don't know what to do to fix my eye. i'm hating myself so much right now.

Posted by Butterflyteam on July 1, 2006 04:16 PM

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I'm so sorry it's so hard right now. I think you need to get your eye checked out. You don't need to say you purged on purpose, just that you threw up. It sounds serious and maybe needs medical attention to avoid long term problems with your vision. You are worth the time and care it will take!!! No matter how badly you feel about yourself right now, you are worth being taken care of. And this sounds very serious to me. Please, go to an ER and get your eye checked, please!
The Real Me

Posted by: The Real Me at July 1, 2006 06:59 PM

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