Health Diaries > Dissociative Identity Disorder > Butterfly Team
November 12, 2006
stuck in a memory....
i haven't been stuck in a memory like this in a long time. it started yesterday. the date was triggering for us - 11/11. we saw donna and samantha talked about what would happen to us on this date. i haven't been able to leave it behind. i've been stuck in this memory since yesterday and it's been really, really hard. all i want is to be with donna. i just need to be safe. i haven't been like this in a long time. i forgot how hard it is - to feel like i can't function, to feel like i need to be with donna just to feel safe, to not be able to access any adult part of me to help rationalize that i am safe and don't need donna. i hate this i hate this i hate this. all i hear in my head is........i want my mom i want my mom i can't breathe my throat is all closed up please help me please. and all i see in my head is........that room.........and all of them........and samantha's body being passed around.
i can't get away from it. i can't get away and i just want donna.
Posted by Butterflyteam on November 12, 2006 3:16 PM
I understand the feelings of wanting to be with a safe person who understands. I also know what it's like to be stuck in a memory. I hope you can get to the other side of this safely in as quick a a time as possible.
Posted by: The Real Me at November 12, 2006 8:19 PM
